How to Work With Your Spouse (And Not Lose Your Mind)

“You deserve a gold medal for being able to work with your husband. My wife and I would kill each other!”

This statement came from one of our event attendees and made me chuckle. My husband, Tim and I get this a lot as a touring couple. A lot of people look at us and see two people who have a dream job and love being together.

While those things are true, let me set one thing straight – being together almost 100% of the time is not all sugar and roses. We have our good times and we definitely have our bad times. There are days when we have to pull our crap together and go run an event, when really, we were fuming angry with each other only a few minutes before we arrived at our location. Sometimes those arguments aren’t completely resolved before we have to put on our professional faces and go excel at what we do. (That’s the real fun…pretending you aren’t really mad at the other person!)

husbandwifeworkcoupleHaving the ability to share our passion for what we do, to travel around the country together while bringing in a solid paycheck, is an amazing thing. It can also mean very little “alone” time and being trapped with the other person when you just want some space. The same goes for spouses who work in an office together and then go home at the same time when the day is done. It doesn’t matter if you’re traveling the country in a tour van or simply working in the same building – we can struggle with the same things.

So how do we make it through those rough times without strangling our spouse? Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

 

1. Find a way to do something without the other

 

This could be a variety of things. Go to the gym, meet up with a friend, explore some nearby attractions in your neighborhood. For me, my personal time comes from staying dedicated to a workout plan when I’m living in hotels – he likes to swim in the pools whereas I usually go into the air conditioned gym. Or it might mean grabbing a quick meal on my own one night when we can’t agree on eating the same thing for dinner. (I want Chipotle like EVERY DAY. My husband doesn’t think this is normal.) Don’t lose your individuality. When you’re always together, it’s healthy to plan things apart that other couples might typically do together.

 

2. Be intentional about your conversations

 

If you’re a 9-5er, you probably have a lot to share about your day when you come home from work and see your spouse for the first time all day. So here’s the real kicker…when you’re always together, you always know everything that’s going on with the other person! While we don’t mind sitting together in silence, it’s also important to have good conversations about life that aren’t work related. This can be tough if you’ve already talked all day, so it may take a little effort to do this.

 

3. Plan non-work related activities 

 

You’re probably thinking, “I’m already with them all the time!”, but that’s for work. Do something fun that has nothing to do with your job responsibilities. We were on the road for Valentine’s Day this year, so I planned a separate shopping trip without Tim to buy a new outfit, then we had a special dinner out. Dress up, get out and have a date night! Sometimes it’s really easy to forget this amongst the daily hustle.

 

BONUS TIP for traveling couples: 

This one really just applies to couples that travel together for work, but it’s a good one worth mentioning…

GET SEPARATE BEDS!

It may be funny, but we do this at probably 1 out of every 3 hotels we stay at, if not more. We originally did it because 2 queens was a little cheaper than a king room, and then we realized how much better we slept in our own beds! Heck, we even had a suite with two separate bedrooms at one hotel and it was amazing!! So if you want a little alone time and to sleep through the night without someone hogging your blanket (I do this, apparently) or kicking you (I’m told I do this too…), get your own bed. The other one can always come visit you if you get a little lonely. 😉

Do you travel with your spouse/partner? Share your story in the comments!